Hoyo de Monterrey du Maire

Had one of the best wake up weekends of the year. Wild and windy during the night. Storming up something epic. Got out of bed slow. Massive cooked breakfast/lunch. After satisfying the stomach, we got the Bialetti brewing some fresh coffee. Wanting a cigar that wouldn't take the rest of the day to smoke I picked this one from the Humidor. At our home we've got lots of decking (being the top of the rest of the house) but no shelter from the rain. Obviously having a smoke free indoors house the dilemma is, how do you smoke a cigar outside without getting wet. We got these cool sliding windows which I opened to get maximum venting going on. I light up and find the smoke wants to... Anyway, trying to describe the logistics is all too hard. Discovering tastes weren't though. First few puffs not so great. Quite, smoky? Developing into some wood/leather aromas mellowing into a creamy chocolaty sweet cigar. Half way through I got this dominant chilli spice residue on my lips. Was a really nice 25 minutes. Only con I found with this one and the same Hoyo I had a week ago was the wrapper seems a little fragile.

What do yous think? Am I getting somewhere with discerning the tastes?

San Cristobal De La Habana - El Principe

Finally my semi flu had gone just in time for a weekend cigar. Had this one in the morning after waking up and seeing the epic sun rise knowing it would be a warm winters day. Made a coffee and got a book ready to enjoy all three. I won't bore with long ideas about this cigar but thought easy draw, smooth velvety tastes and picking up notes of walnut in the beginning and cocoa near its end. It didn't keep a long ash but did burn consistently not going out once. ( 2-5min breaks) Total time of morning bliss was around 25minutes along with 2 long blacks, 1 chapter of Isaiah and ubber amounts of sun made this a perfect experience. Coffee compliment? Definitely

Introducing Scott and the Por Larranaga Montecarlo

Video review introducing this cigar and new heretic Scott.
Keen to hear your thoughts about the Montecarlo - comment below.



30-45mn smoke.
Smoke it slowly it is a thin cigar - puffing too quick will overheat it and harshen the flavour.
Size: Deliciosos
Length 15.9cm. Ring gauge 33.
Strength: Light-bodied
Drink match: water, milk, tea - anything that doesn't overwhelm it.
From a box dated March 2009.

Arturo Fuente - Hemingway Short Story (Gran Reserva)

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Batch for June-July and Heretic Epidemic

... is now available chez Greg.

Included are a few favourites and a couple of brand new ones.

• Cohiba Club (2): coffee-break favourite
• Por Larranaga Montecarlos: new cigar for a longer coffee-break (post forthcoming)
• San Cristobal del Habano El Principe: the last of this box which has aged very well in just a year. They started out harsh last August and are now enjoyable with that cuban twang.
  
• Diplomaticos no.4 (as per Joel's request)
• Montecristo no.4 (see earlier video review): from a new box dated 2009
• Vegas Robaina Clasicos (see next post)
  

Also it is with great sadness that we farewell two Cigar Heretics who are temporarily departing these shores: Jon who is off to the UK and Andrew who is off to Tanna. Go forth and prosper! Take with you the gnosis of the Sacred Leaf as you spread the Heretical Ways far and wide! We will enjoy blowing smoke rings together when you return.

At the same time, we welcome a Wellingtonian (finally!) named Scott who will keep me company, and a Whangarei-an, Michael, who has been initiated into our devious secrets by Sam. Haere mai ki te Ngati Heretiki! Don't hesitate to post questions, cigar reviews etc

In Memoriam Don Alejandro: Vegas Robaina Clasico

There is one special cigar in the June-July batch included as a tribute to the legendary Alejandro Robaina who died last month.

The Robaina family have farmed tobacco continuously since 1845 on their precious vegas (fields) at Cuchillas de Barbacoa situated in the Vuelta Abajo, Cuba's premier tobacco-growing region.

Born in 1919, Alejandro worked on his farm from age 10 until his death this year. He took over the family farm in 1950 and remained an independent grower even after the '59 revolution, when most tobacco farms were grouped into cooperatives. Robaina said himself that he "told Fidel I did not like cooperatives or state farms and that the best way to grow tobacco was through family production." For many years he was one of the unofficial ambassadors of Cuban cigars abroad, and in the 1990s the government recognised his outstanding production (80% of his tobacco leaves were good enough to be used as premium wrappers compared with 30% for most farms) by creating a brand named after his family: Vegas Robaina.



We have the Vegas Robaina Clasico, which, as Greg and myself found out the other night, is a cracker. It's a cigar with perfect balance, sweet and smooth but mingling many interesting flavours and evolving all the way through the smoke (our review posted in comment).

I can only encourage you to take time out and concentrate on smoking this one in one go - it's worth it. And this time you can think about the values of terroir and centuries old family farms that contribute to making delightful and maybe even meaningful produce for us to enjoy - perhaps against the backdrop of increasing industrialisation of production.

1hr-1hr20 smoke.
Size: Cervantes
Length 16.5cm. Ring gauge 42.
Strength: Medium-bodied
Drink match: port, sherry? and maybe even switch to whisky at the end.
Box date unknown.

Trinidad Reyes

Not many more weekends before I consult a wife about where and what one will do with their time off work. I decided on a drive up north to see family. Future wife also decided. We learn decisions together. I was eager to drive the 3 hours of northbound roads saying adiós to that lovely place we call Auckland. We arrive at a not so late time in the evening to talk and laugh and share stories while sipping on green tea. Checking the surf report I'm not so sure about heading out in the morning but I take my chances. The dawn, or alarm wakes me and I scramble together some food, water and a brother to go out on this adventure. Less talking, more music as we set east. I get butterfly's looking at the ever so increasing speed and direction of wind in the trees. But still, can only hope. Those hopes were soon crushed as we met the beach in all it's onshore glory. I start to think about where I would like to be. Not here. We go for a walk then a slow drive home arriving just as the heavens open and heavy rains pour down. I think what better time for a late morning coffee and cigar. Picking up my pace I find the fresh beans to grind which teases my nostrils giving the first satisfaction of the day. While brewing on the stove top the search begins.

Trinidad Reyes. Will you disappoint?

Short but nicely fitting between fingers having a slight silk from the oils in the wrapper, it almost slides away from my grip. Pour coffee. I bring the twisty ended stick to my nose and take in light wood, almost tea leaves. Snip goes the twist and draw in some nice simple fresh flavours. Once lit I draw in a perfect amount of smoke not being too hard or too easy. Perfect. And while not determining anything complex I thoroughly enjoy it's smoothness all the way through to the last third. It did burn uneven but I think this was only to do with the knotty vein in one part sadly near the beginning. Coffee was good. Cigar was good but undecided if they were best friends. Still friends but I'm sure this cigar would be good on it's own. Favourite part was the sweet leafy taste on the lips.


On the Deckchair

Cigar and coffee take a breather
They watch the midwinter rain
Daring to imagine holidays in Tuscany
The Caribbean or some foreign place
If they could afford it
They might share a laugh
With cross legged elephants
And Turkish rugs
There is a sip, a sigh, a snip
A taste of earth in an unlit kiss
Coffee drink the virgin plume of smoke
Cigar's bitter-sweet ash clings to its throat
They take a breather
And watch the world slow down
If only for a moment

Poetry by R.H (aka brother)

Love & Marriage

Celebrate your one year anniversary with an easy-draw licorice tasting dark spice Montecristo. Blow in each others faces and you'll follow each other everywhere.

Diplomaticos no.4

This is an intriguing little mareva with quite a different flavour profile from its cousin the Montecristo No.4. Whereas the latter could be the tip top cookies and cream of the cigar world, the Diplomaticos is more of a chef-designed palate cleansing sorbet: subtle floral nuances of darjeeling played around a leather and cedar core. If you want to take some time out for a half hour or so and concentrate on a cigar, pull this understated petit corona out of the humidor.

And to add to the aura of this cigar, one should say that it will be an ephemeral experience: production of this particular vitola was cancelled this year, so beyond this box we might never get to try it again. It would probably respond well to ageing, but hey - ars longa, vita brevis.


30mn-50mn smoke.
Size: Mareva (aka Petit Corona)
Length 12.9cm. Ring gauge 42.
Strength: Light Medium-bodied
Drink match: Tricky. Try smoking it first and then decide - tea or sherry or [something that doesn't overpower the complex flavour]?
From box dated Mar '09.

Brand: This brand was introduced in 1966 as essentially a second, value line of the Montecristo brand, primarily aimed at the French market. One of the few Havana brands which is exclusively devoted to handmade cigars, the sizes and names essentially mirror the Montecristo nomenclature and for many years, the Diplomaticos line was produced at the old Jose Marti factory, as was most of the Montecristo range.

Cigarros con cafe

Saturday morning and the sun is shining, a gentle sea breeze caresses the kowhai leaves, and distant yachts slice their way effortlessly through shimmering waters on the horizon. Ah yes, time for coffee on the deck... and while I'm at it, why not pull out a cigar?

As a fellow prisoner of our modern age, the spectre of guilt overwhelms me at the thought of such an unproductive pass time. What of domestic duties? Or of preparation for future events - building up peers and relationships - self-improvement through cultivation of skill - turning a buck in a costly world...? Our contemporary curse, the plague that is the pandora's box of Lifestyle Options, assails me. Tick tick tock goes the clock, relentlessly driving the slaves who must account for its atomically-defined nanoseconds. I attempt to still my guilt by pulling out a laptop to mark some annoying essays. The battery fails. Time slows to the pace of the incandescent cylinder pressed between my forefingers. With every draw, the pillar of ash grows. Every once in a while, it falls to the ground. Its rich and creamy emanations soothe the mind. Peace and satisfaction prevail. Self-absorbed man of contemplation, or Doer and Achiever of many things- who is of the undead, and who is of the living? The cat stretches out, oblivious, on a warm paving stone. I am reminded of a book by Proust, A la recherche du temps perdu, of which - irony of ironies - I had only ever speed-read extracts for school. I think this is a fortunate thing. In any case...

Blessed be the cigar that affords us momentary exile from the world of options.

I confess that despite the knowledge that real prestige lies with the after-dinner cigars, the large puros that match refined drinks like whisky and generally provide greater complexity and evolution of flavour, most often the smoking urge comes on me for daytime smokes, generally late morning with coffee. Sometimes I want one before coffee, often after coffee, and every now and again i'll actually have one with coffee - like today. Some kind of biscuit and dark chocolate are also de rigueur for that blend of flavours made in heaven.
[if you must know, my fave biscuit is McVitie digestive with a dark chocolate like Scarborough Sinless; if i have them, i will go for roasted almonds instead of the biscuit; and on the rare occasions when we have any in the house, i might go for a timtam.]

As for the cigars, well you have tasted for yourselves the diminutive Cohiba Club cigarillos - the quick fix option - the Hoyo de Monterrey du Maire in the small range, and larger half-corona vitolas like the Trinidad Reyes, Cohiba Maduro5 Secretos, at a push the San Cristobal El Principe; and on the rare holiday occasions I can stomach a biggy in the day, a Montecristo no4 or even larger, a Hoyo des Dieux. Others that I can't get hold of anymore are the El Rey Del Mundo Demi-Tasse, or Gloria Cubana no4. They all have in common a medium body, more woody or cocoa type flavour, and all have a hint of sweetness. Cigars that have more to do with leather, earth, spice or a fruity twang I exclude as I'm not a coffee-or-chocolate-with-fruit kind of person. I save those ones for alcoholic partners. But that's just me.

What kind of cigarros con cafe experience floats your boat? I'm interested.

Romeo y Julieta Churchill Challenge

Here we have it folks, to celebrate our first decently-sized cigar, you are invited to partake in a Heretics Churchill Challenge.

First, a little history. The vitola of this cigar, officially a Julieta no.2, was renamed in honour of the venerable statesman, who was well known for his love of similar sized cigars. Apparently, gruff old Winston didn’t just like to smoke Romeo y Julietas… he actually used them to intimidate hostile negotiators. Legend has it that Churchill was in the habit of inserting a straightened paper clip into the end of his Romeo y Julieta before a difficult interrogation. This would allow the cigar to burn without dropping any ash, letting his cigar ash burn so long it would distract onlookers. This was so strange and perturbing that it allowed Churchill to gain the upper hand in conversation.

Now, as to our competition - the name of the game is The LONGEST ASH.

Much like Churchill himself, you are called upon to demonstrate your finest British phlegm in the face of a relentless invasion. In this case, your merciless adversary will be the largest cigar you have ever faced, assaulting you with wave upon wave of nicotine-fuelled flavour. The Heretic of unflappable demeanour will not only weather this neverending storm, but produce evidence of his steady-handedness with a photo/video of unperturbed Ash, still hanging on the end of the cigar.

All you have to do is send in this evidence of your Churchill with intact ash [and unlike the man himself, without the aid of such things as paper clips, no8 wire, swedish enlargement kits or other].

MAY THE LONGEST ASH WIN.

The winner's Prize will consist of one long but skinny 2000 vintage La Gloria Cubana no1 cigar - one of my favourites and just as long as a Churchill. (pictured below)

P.s. Extra points/prizes could be awarded for:

• a great Churchill impersonation; and/or
• a legendary photo of you smoking your Churchill;
• a brilliant review of the cigar

Montecristo #4 Spins Me Round

Greg came down to the Capital on Easter Weekend to get away from the humid, overpopulated and drab mess that is Auckland city. And he got to Absolutely Positively experience the breezy sun, luscious beach bodies, and wharf jumping delights of Wellington's riviera. Sea sex and sun converging in a momentary apotheosis of pleasure - yes that's the thrill you get watching me jump off the wharf (as I get blown off to break the ice below).

Anyway here is our garage review of the Montecristo no4 with theme generously provided to us by Classic Hits FM.

Next batch ready!

Fellow fumeurs, the next batch is ready at the tinny house i.e. still Sam's place.
Give me a ring or email me to let me know when you want to collect the cigars.
[Ed.: address info deleted to avoid spam]

They are:

• the trusty Hoyo de Monterrey du Maire
• Trinidad Reyes
• San Cristobal Del Habano El Principe
• Diplomaticos no.4: a petit corona with a difference.
  
• Romeo y Julieta Churchill - yes a classic and a big mama now that you guys are trained up to puff for long periods of time (also a lot more expen$ive so not as many cigars in this batch)
  

Greg

Happy Birthday Grand Heresiarch

X L F.
Son. Brother. Father. Friend. Grand Heresiarch.

I came across an old photo of Dad and Xav digging up the concrete driveway in Curacao Place. Gumboots, pickaxes, sweaty brows. The picture stirred clear memories of the aura that surrounded Greg throughout our upbringing- paint stained jeans, three-day-old singlets, the smell of cigar, half forgotten apples, barely nibbled biscuits in the fridge. These were all traces of the presence of Greg.
As Hannah commented today: "I often enjoy the smell of cigar more than its taste". This is a sentiment that I felt growing up. Cigars- a comforting smell. The nearby presence of the patriarch (& half biscuits bound to be found somewhere... of the deadly sins- Xav was sloth, I was greed).

At the tender age of 12 I remember hiding an old cigar butt and trying to light it later on. It tasted like poos. I also found a condom packet then, embarrassed by its phallic suggestiveness, tried to burn it. It doesn't work. It's a mess.

I can only imagine that Xav lived similar experiences, and yet, and yet, he was the one to pick up the cigar legacy. He was the one who pioneered Aotearoa Heretics into the unknown world of refined cigar puffing. He crossed boundaries of race and creed. He laughed at embargoes and the West's fear of communism. He reached out to the small tobacco farmers in Cuba, Nicaragua, Ethiopia.

He took a small seed, planted by our father in our hearts, and made it grow.

Xavier, we salute you.

Cohiba Maduro 5

I haven't been keeping my travel humidor humid enough so it may have impacted on the taste of this cigar. Didn't seem too dry though. Nice experience.