Inglourious...tiny little Basterds

For the last two days I have opened my humidor about three times to see three times, little white cigar farkers (about two) crawling on the outside of my Ramon Allones. Almost the size of a speck of dust. First thing researched on the net came up with a bug called a tobacco beetle which is pretty much the soul reaper of cigars sucking every bit of life from them.

This not being my circumstance as the little critters I saw were far from the league of these guys pictured didn't stop me from being a little anxious to why something white and crawly was on my cigar.

So click of the mouse and more research found they are wood mites or other names similar. Here's what some guru of bugs and cigars said.
"Wood/tobacco mites are indeed very harmless and while they have been known to feed on the vegetable glue used to adhere cigar bands, these mites actually prefer water so you may find them crawling over your humidification device or feeding on any other water sources inside your humidor (this is why it's no longer advised that people keep a dish of distilled water inside their humidor as it will cause these mites to thrive"

So although I am confident they are not the notorious tobacco beetle I've learnt you've got to keep the humidity below 75% to lessen the risk of anything hatching. Mine stays at around 74%. Nice if it was less .

And last of all, here's warning picture to what the infamous tobacco beetle is capable of. Found on X-Files

Ze Provencale Experience

at my sister Katy's farm in the south of france. Enjoy...

p.s. the cigar that was not reviewed in this film was the Bolivar Petit Corona. The other two cigars that were not reviewed in this film was some kind of cohiba that sam got off someone sometime and a vegas robaina that i got somewhere ages ago.

Vegueros Seoane

Vegueros - Freudians, check out that logo and pretend not to see what it really is.

Wrapper leaf has a nice tanned leather hue and a rash of bumplets which show up on the burnt ash - interesting. This one draws just right and produces a decent amount of smoke.

Starts out green, bitter and ashy, with a hint of raw meatiness that speaks to you like a Clint Eastwood scowl. "WTF do you want?" it said in a grouchy voice. If you've got the balls to pursue with this little grunter, go ahead, make its day. You know you'll lose out in the end.

Perseverance is "rewarded" with a slight softening in flavour. The acid grassiness starts to fade as the recalcitrant bastard realises you're not going to give in - yet. Time for a refined whisky like Teachers, Grants, Sheep Dip or Genesis Pour-On for Cattle (Don't drink in moderation).

The Vegueros hears me dissing it, and goes out just to spite me. Do I want to relight? No. But I do so anyways, just to show that two can play at this game. It cunningly counter-attacks by defecating its ash onto my keyboard. Down to the offending band now, which I remove, throw roughly to the floor, and spit on. Two all, but it clearly has the upper-hand as we head toward the finish line.

Now for the Grand Finale. Fark this is terrible. More of the same but with renewed intensity - or wait on - is that a subtle hint of quality cement dust joining in to coat my astounded palate? The cigar speaks through its minions, as a 10 year old schoolboy zooms past on his scooter, and farewells his mate with a loud "See ya, Bitch". It goes out one last time. Yeah. See you in Hell.

The Verdict: This is a brilliant cigar for your break as a construction site labourer in wintertime. Before you were keeping your mouth shut and scowling just to fit in, your slitty eyes and screwed up nose speaking volumes about endurance in trying circumstances and the hardness of your steelcappedboot-resistant testicles. Now you actually have something to be pissed off about. I've never enjoyed beer with cigars before, but I'd happily see off a few Ranfurly Draughts or DB Double Browns with this ugly mongrel. Despite the label, there is nothing feminine about it.

Peter Pan take me to Neverland

This is my pan flute of cigars left before I get back to NZ [apart from the little Hoyos]. I'll make sure I actually review these as the last few I had were exquisite- Bolivar, La Gloria Cubana, and a couple of others (X- what were the ones I had with you?). Seeing as dinner happens so late here I got into the habit of having a cigar before the meal and with some kind of aperitif: Vermouth, Port, Wine. The only problem with this is that smoking on my own on an empty stomach I would get a bit dizzy near the end and with the Bolivar I felt pretty nauseous afterwards! Anyways, will keep you posted. By the way, will the U.S give me any hassles for bringing my cigars into their nation?

Batch for August - September ... Obscure Brands

... is available chez Greg. In fact, it has been there since the end of July but I went overseas (smoking vids with Sam to follow) and just realised that i forgot to post about it.

There are a few new brands of cigars included, relatively low production and hence lesser known Check out this habanos page and notice where these new ones Cuaba, Vegueros, and Ramon Allones are on the pyramid - in the local distribution section down the bottom. The large production global distribution brands, Cohiba, Romeo y Julieta, Montecristo, Partagas et al., are the only ones you'll find in duty free around the world and the only ones you'll find in every cigar outlet. The good thing about smaller brands is lower production and so sometimes (but not necessarily!!), better construction. Cuaba is one exception because of how much harder it is to roll perfecto-shapes (all cuabas are perfectos - tapered at both ends).

From memory, here's what was included:

• Cohiba Club: coffee-break favourite
• Hoyo de Monterrey -Le Hoyo du Maire: ditto
• Vegueros - Seoanes: a very obscure brand with a "green" taste. The cigars we got are also very old and in a cheap small format. So don't expect too much from this one.
  
• Cuaba - Divinos: a small perfecto shaped cigar from an unusual cuban brand. Look out for a peanut-butter flavour.
• Bolivar -Petit Corona: Some of you have already tried Bolivar and know that this marca is not to be taken lightly. This is an even bigger explosion of spicy flavour than the last one. Like the RASS below, goes great with whisky.
  
• Ramon Allones - Specially Selected: Another new brand for you to try. I've tried one before sending them out and it was a great cigar. Smooth but lots of flavour. Big cigar.

... enjoy. And when you smoke one, write a little comment (or a big review) on the site so we know what you thought about it ;-)

Quote of the Day

The great pianist Arthur Rubinstein said:

"You have to be even more careful with your cigar than with your wife. You can always make up with a woman, but if you're not careful your cigar will go out completely."