Christmas-January Batch

Christmas for Communists: Fidel spelling it out in front of the Star of Bethlehem and Marx

Seasons Greetings to you all, my fellow Heretics!

Fidel may have banned Christmas in 1969, but he reinstated it in honour of the pope in '97, so I think we're allowed to have a good smoke to celebrate.
 
My right hand man Sam has returned, but to the Wrong Side of the Bridge, and as Greg is away I've sent him the latest batch, so he's the go-to man for your christmas smokes.

They are:

• La Gloria Cubana - Puritos: little cellophane-wrapped cigarillos
• Oliva Serie G: little nicaraguan nipples.
• Fonseca KDTs: rice-paper wrapped coffee cohort joys (when they draw! you might need to poke'em a bit)
• Ramon Allones Small Club Coronas: not as strong as their big brothers the Specially Selected, in a handy format and with a fruity flavour.
• Cohiba Secretos: very expensive, luxurious small cigars, maduro wrapper aged 5 years and filler 3 before they even roll them, rich chocolatey flavours, beautiful dessert smoke. 

and ... drumroll ...

some Punch Double Coronas, well aged, the largest mainstream format and 2 and a bit hours of smoking pleasure. Now, as they are really quite expensive, and Hugenormous, they are to be shared in the spirit of christmas, one for every two heretics. So i'm hoping you'll get together and share on chugging duties. Would be good for poker, watching the ashes, or a very intricate board game (axis and allies?).

Video - Rolling a cigar

Note: the next batch is ready, i just need to pop it in the post. Greg's going away so sending it to Sam on the North Shore, he should have it next week so you have something to smoke over the christmas hols...

Hoyo du Maire in Oruamotoro

Yes this is the kind of weather we've all had recently... long may it continue. Scott is there enjoying our 10am cigar date at the beach, we sat together on the edge of the water, romantically, and contemplated the generous flavours of this exquisite little cigar... cedar, nuts, cinnamon, something sweet, even a bit creamy. Pity that this box of '98s has to finish at some point...

Make believe French

Ja tem! ja ma pal Jowell! bon jore!
That's about as French as we could get smoking this cigar.

Quai d'Orsai

Nice

Quai d'Orsay Panatela

25-40mn smoke.
Size: Ninfa
Length 17.8cm Ring gauge 33.
Strength: Medium-bodied
Drink match: anything light. cafe creme.
Box date unknown.


Brand History:
The story begain in 1974 when the newly elected President of the French republic, Valéry Giscard d' Estaing, convoked his Minister of Economy and told him that he was very interested in creating a new cigar for the French market. The President said,"France is known the world over for its Perfumes,its Champagne, its Foies Gras, its Haute Couture, but nothing in the field of tobacco". In short, he asked that work would start on creating a new cigar for France made in Cuba.

Together with the help of friends at "Cubatabaco" in Cuba, they started to develop the Ligas that would make up the blend of this new cigar that Belaubre called, Quai d 'Orsay, after the name of the street where the Ministry of Foreign affairs is located in Paris. Quai d' Orsay was now
ready to join the very select club of Cuban cigar brand names that were not of cuban origin, along with Dunhill and Davidoff. The success of Quai d'Orsay was such that Seita and Cubatabaco
extended the brand in other small niche markets around the world. Since 1992,with the end of the Cuban brands Davidoff and Dunhill, Quai d' Orsay is the only brand left in Cuba with a non- Cuban name. Quai d' Orsay has a uniquely medium taste with its characteristic notes of honey, nutmeg and hints of café cream and leather.

Rice Dreams (Fonseca Cadetes)

Its a Thursday evening after work, its drizzling and I'm thinking cigar. I open the chest and pull out a little hoyo cafe cigar. Why a little one? I put it back and decide a review on our latest batch would be better. Besides, I got time. Was keen on a coffee so seeing that the Fonseca was listed good with; I thought good idea...
First look. some kind of funny yet elegant disguise. Remove. Check. Band went with the paper.

Clip and Smell. Could be the reason why the paper is there because once removed, it gave an exciting aroma of cigarness. Soft and lingering.

Size. Fits between the fingers. Almost like the size of my 'up yours' finger. Good size between the teeth. Nibble, slobber, roll around with ease.

Pre-light Draw. Sweet.

Light my fire. Won't go into much detail about the experience because I felt it was a good consistent full tobacco flavour with a smooth mellow taste the whole way through. Good draw right at the start then hit a tight knot like puff of about five in the first section then went back to that pleasant draw for the rest. Complexity was not there and if anything picked up almonds and earth.

Conclusion. Lovely evening stroll smoke after an espresso with bit more time than a little 15 minute pinner. I would give it a 7.0 but with the prezzie paper giving you so many options......
Using every part of the cigar......
I think it deserves a big 8.0

My Goodness ... My Bachilleres

I had to think long and hard before going out to smoke tonight ... reason being, it's a cold, dark night in Wellington. A southerly is blowing straight up from the frigid bowels of Antarctica, and relentless roar of the waves pounding the harbour shores is interrupted only by the occasional bout of hail on the tin roof. Charming. I pick out a cigar, then on reflection, I substitute it for one half its size. Time to head out onto the deck, silently thanking the good Lord for the hill sheltering our house.

The object of my attention is a Sancho Panza Bachilleres, one of a dozen obtained for my cigar club (box date unknown but this looks like a circa 2000 vintage). I've just realised the irony of this choice considering that my wife and baby have just landed in Heathrow - bachelor, indeed! (albeit in another sense of the english term)

Pre-light: the wrapper is odourless and rustic but an agreeable shade of brown. The cigar feels tightly rolled, especially at the head. A quick draw confirms this tight-arsedness, as well as, appropriately, a hint of sheep dung and earth. I nestle it close, as much for the warmth as anything else, and fire it up.

From the get-go this lil' feller proclaims his intentions loud and clear - a big dose of cedar and some leather, a touch of white pepper spiciness through the nose, and a trademark underlying body of salty earth. Altogether encouraging, and as a taste package, somehow comforting. I lean forward to avoid the latest bout of hail and massage out the knot at the head of the cigar with a degree of success.

Coming into the second third, and a dose of herbal remedies livens things up - the pepper has turned green and the smoke has developed a grassy quality to it. What I presume to be ligero is showing its colours somewhat, without dramatically altering the main body. Somewhere after the halfway mark there is a marked shift towards a hearty meal - as if someone had just pulled a shepherd's pie out of the oven, it becomes all meaty, yes we are talking mincemeat here (lamb mince to be precise!) mixed in with a hint of sheep dung and liver - haggis anyone? An ever so slight sweetness, which may have been present in lesser quantities at the start, is now developing around the edges with a cinnamon-like quality. There is a sudden injection of charred paper - ah yes, that would be the band burning, get it off, you twit - but apart from that it remains pretty much the same until the nub. In sum, a core melody of cedar, leather, salt, earth all the way through; and ligero grassiness tuning in but quickly replaced by the hearty meatiness of an honest man's meal.

I must say I was surprised to really enjoy this cigar, it was unexpectedly complex (which for me confirms my decade old hypothesis), and it lasted a decent while too as it was packed to the gunnels with tobacco. I would give it an A verging on A+ or a solid 8.5 out of 10: given the prevailing conditions, it did everything that was asked of it; but then trumped that with surprising complexity and evolution of flavour. Of greater note in the annals of cigar smoking - or at least, the irish ones - is that it's the first cigar i've really enjoyed combined with Guinness. The creaminess and slight bitterness of the latter married well with the salt, meatiness, and general un-fruitiness of the Bachilleres. I've had both separately before, but in combination, it was my revelation of the night. Now, time to get off to bed and enjoy the other bit of my newfound, temporary,bachelorhood: sleeping in without a child to wake me up three times in the night and then once and for all at 5am. Yippee !!



25-40mn smoke.
Size: Franciscano (yes like the monks)
Length 11.6cm. Ring gauge 40.
Strength: Medium-bodied
Drink match: anything. but Guinness is good for you.
Box date unknown.

Brand info:
Named after the rustic squire to Don Quixote in Miguel de Cervantes' famous 1605 novel of the same name, this very old brand was originated by Emilio Ahmsted in 1848. It is much admired for the larger sizes in its range, including the enormous Sanchos (23.5cm x 47!)

[Sancho acts as squire to Don Quixote, and provides comments throughout the novel, known as sanchismos, that are a combination of broad humour, ironic Spanish proverbs, and earthy wit. "Panza" means 'belly']

Clint meets Churchill

I thought I'd try my luck at two competitions with one cigar. Firstly, some Dirty Harry night-time bike repairs. A man's got to let off some steam after a day of police work.

Secondly, the pillar of ash. Romeo & Julieta Churchill. I think we did pretty well with the length here.

Cigar notes.

Draw- a good 8/10. Good for a cigar this size. Doesn't come of it's own accord but comfortable effort is required.

Size- Just right. Max limit on diameter for my taste. I enjoy giving it a good nibble and slobber to soften it up.

Ash retention- Prize-worthy.

Tastes- cinnamon/pepper and all things spice. Sweet/savoury kind of dance on the tongue. Wood fire oven. A hint of something Chinese but I can't figure out what. A green vegetable taste [eg. courgette, peppers] but not leafy, not grassy. Smooth.

Drink- Aberlour 10 y/o scotch. Very soft and dry with fruity aromas of early autumn (especially pear). The softness of the whisky was accentuated by the cigar. I had more whisky later- on its own and with chocolate- and it was much harsher. Perfect complement. The cigar made the whisky taste great.

The ash fell off eventually.

But let's not forget its former glory.

[Ed.: The facial expression reminds me more of this guy Aahnie than Clint...check it out!]

Cigar Hero: Jack Nicholson

watch the first 2:30mn of this vid.



In this movie, our navy man Jack manages to provoke a fight with some random army hacks just so his young protege gets to punch someone. And because he likes fighting. He dishes out a great insult [listen carefully to the "all i'd have to do is take my hat off" quip], trips and punches and kicks a couple, scrambles up and runs away, all the while chugging on his cigar.

that's talented puffing for ya right there.

So punk...I just smoked a Vegueros Seoanes

Batch for October-November

Greg was here at the weekend and Michael's parcel is in the mail... yes, the next batch is here to play.

This one has a few more new brands - we've almost covered them all now! - and more new cigars.

They are:

• trusty old Hoyo de Monterrey - Le Hoyo du Maire (smallest)
• Vegueros Seoanes: Clint's favourite
• Quai d'Orsai Panetelas: this brand was created for the french market - mild and smooth. The cubans obviously think that french men lack cojones.
• Sancho Panza Bachilleres: brand created for the spanish market, named after the character in Don Quijote. Unusually salty flavour. This particular cigar was discontinued a few years ago, so these are well aged.
• Fonseca KDT Cadetes: all cigars in this brand are wrapped in rice paper. Remove before Smoking!! Nice mild sweet flavour - good with coffee. Hopefully the draw isn't too tight on your ones.
  
• Hoyo de Monterrey - Epicure No.1: the biggest one. Has a reputation for creamy sweet flavour when on form.

Enjoy. And post notes of your impressions after smoking!

Inglourious...tiny little Basterds

For the last two days I have opened my humidor about three times to see three times, little white cigar farkers (about two) crawling on the outside of my Ramon Allones. Almost the size of a speck of dust. First thing researched on the net came up with a bug called a tobacco beetle which is pretty much the soul reaper of cigars sucking every bit of life from them.

This not being my circumstance as the little critters I saw were far from the league of these guys pictured didn't stop me from being a little anxious to why something white and crawly was on my cigar.

So click of the mouse and more research found they are wood mites or other names similar. Here's what some guru of bugs and cigars said.
"Wood/tobacco mites are indeed very harmless and while they have been known to feed on the vegetable glue used to adhere cigar bands, these mites actually prefer water so you may find them crawling over your humidification device or feeding on any other water sources inside your humidor (this is why it's no longer advised that people keep a dish of distilled water inside their humidor as it will cause these mites to thrive"

So although I am confident they are not the notorious tobacco beetle I've learnt you've got to keep the humidity below 75% to lessen the risk of anything hatching. Mine stays at around 74%. Nice if it was less .

And last of all, here's warning picture to what the infamous tobacco beetle is capable of. Found on X-Files

Ze Provencale Experience

at my sister Katy's farm in the south of france. Enjoy...

p.s. the cigar that was not reviewed in this film was the Bolivar Petit Corona. The other two cigars that were not reviewed in this film was some kind of cohiba that sam got off someone sometime and a vegas robaina that i got somewhere ages ago.

Vegueros Seoane

Vegueros - Freudians, check out that logo and pretend not to see what it really is.

Wrapper leaf has a nice tanned leather hue and a rash of bumplets which show up on the burnt ash - interesting. This one draws just right and produces a decent amount of smoke.

Starts out green, bitter and ashy, with a hint of raw meatiness that speaks to you like a Clint Eastwood scowl. "WTF do you want?" it said in a grouchy voice. If you've got the balls to pursue with this little grunter, go ahead, make its day. You know you'll lose out in the end.

Perseverance is "rewarded" with a slight softening in flavour. The acid grassiness starts to fade as the recalcitrant bastard realises you're not going to give in - yet. Time for a refined whisky like Teachers, Grants, Sheep Dip or Genesis Pour-On for Cattle (Don't drink in moderation).

The Vegueros hears me dissing it, and goes out just to spite me. Do I want to relight? No. But I do so anyways, just to show that two can play at this game. It cunningly counter-attacks by defecating its ash onto my keyboard. Down to the offending band now, which I remove, throw roughly to the floor, and spit on. Two all, but it clearly has the upper-hand as we head toward the finish line.

Now for the Grand Finale. Fark this is terrible. More of the same but with renewed intensity - or wait on - is that a subtle hint of quality cement dust joining in to coat my astounded palate? The cigar speaks through its minions, as a 10 year old schoolboy zooms past on his scooter, and farewells his mate with a loud "See ya, Bitch". It goes out one last time. Yeah. See you in Hell.

The Verdict: This is a brilliant cigar for your break as a construction site labourer in wintertime. Before you were keeping your mouth shut and scowling just to fit in, your slitty eyes and screwed up nose speaking volumes about endurance in trying circumstances and the hardness of your steelcappedboot-resistant testicles. Now you actually have something to be pissed off about. I've never enjoyed beer with cigars before, but I'd happily see off a few Ranfurly Draughts or DB Double Browns with this ugly mongrel. Despite the label, there is nothing feminine about it.

Peter Pan take me to Neverland

This is my pan flute of cigars left before I get back to NZ [apart from the little Hoyos]. I'll make sure I actually review these as the last few I had were exquisite- Bolivar, La Gloria Cubana, and a couple of others (X- what were the ones I had with you?). Seeing as dinner happens so late here I got into the habit of having a cigar before the meal and with some kind of aperitif: Vermouth, Port, Wine. The only problem with this is that smoking on my own on an empty stomach I would get a bit dizzy near the end and with the Bolivar I felt pretty nauseous afterwards! Anyways, will keep you posted. By the way, will the U.S give me any hassles for bringing my cigars into their nation?

Batch for August - September ... Obscure Brands

... is available chez Greg. In fact, it has been there since the end of July but I went overseas (smoking vids with Sam to follow) and just realised that i forgot to post about it.

There are a few new brands of cigars included, relatively low production and hence lesser known Check out this habanos page and notice where these new ones Cuaba, Vegueros, and Ramon Allones are on the pyramid - in the local distribution section down the bottom. The large production global distribution brands, Cohiba, Romeo y Julieta, Montecristo, Partagas et al., are the only ones you'll find in duty free around the world and the only ones you'll find in every cigar outlet. The good thing about smaller brands is lower production and so sometimes (but not necessarily!!), better construction. Cuaba is one exception because of how much harder it is to roll perfecto-shapes (all cuabas are perfectos - tapered at both ends).

From memory, here's what was included:

• Cohiba Club: coffee-break favourite
• Hoyo de Monterrey -Le Hoyo du Maire: ditto
• Vegueros - Seoanes: a very obscure brand with a "green" taste. The cigars we got are also very old and in a cheap small format. So don't expect too much from this one.
  
• Cuaba - Divinos: a small perfecto shaped cigar from an unusual cuban brand. Look out for a peanut-butter flavour.
• Bolivar -Petit Corona: Some of you have already tried Bolivar and know that this marca is not to be taken lightly. This is an even bigger explosion of spicy flavour than the last one. Like the RASS below, goes great with whisky.
  
• Ramon Allones - Specially Selected: Another new brand for you to try. I've tried one before sending them out and it was a great cigar. Smooth but lots of flavour. Big cigar.

... enjoy. And when you smoke one, write a little comment (or a big review) on the site so we know what you thought about it ;-)

Quote of the Day

The great pianist Arthur Rubinstein said:

"You have to be even more careful with your cigar than with your wife. You can always make up with a woman, but if you're not careful your cigar will go out completely."

Hoyo de Monterrey du Maire

Had one of the best wake up weekends of the year. Wild and windy during the night. Storming up something epic. Got out of bed slow. Massive cooked breakfast/lunch. After satisfying the stomach, we got the Bialetti brewing some fresh coffee. Wanting a cigar that wouldn't take the rest of the day to smoke I picked this one from the Humidor. At our home we've got lots of decking (being the top of the rest of the house) but no shelter from the rain. Obviously having a smoke free indoors house the dilemma is, how do you smoke a cigar outside without getting wet. We got these cool sliding windows which I opened to get maximum venting going on. I light up and find the smoke wants to... Anyway, trying to describe the logistics is all too hard. Discovering tastes weren't though. First few puffs not so great. Quite, smoky? Developing into some wood/leather aromas mellowing into a creamy chocolaty sweet cigar. Half way through I got this dominant chilli spice residue on my lips. Was a really nice 25 minutes. Only con I found with this one and the same Hoyo I had a week ago was the wrapper seems a little fragile.

What do yous think? Am I getting somewhere with discerning the tastes?

San Cristobal De La Habana - El Principe

Finally my semi flu had gone just in time for a weekend cigar. Had this one in the morning after waking up and seeing the epic sun rise knowing it would be a warm winters day. Made a coffee and got a book ready to enjoy all three. I won't bore with long ideas about this cigar but thought easy draw, smooth velvety tastes and picking up notes of walnut in the beginning and cocoa near its end. It didn't keep a long ash but did burn consistently not going out once. ( 2-5min breaks) Total time of morning bliss was around 25minutes along with 2 long blacks, 1 chapter of Isaiah and ubber amounts of sun made this a perfect experience. Coffee compliment? Definitely

Introducing Scott and the Por Larranaga Montecarlo

Video review introducing this cigar and new heretic Scott.
Keen to hear your thoughts about the Montecarlo - comment below.



30-45mn smoke.
Smoke it slowly it is a thin cigar - puffing too quick will overheat it and harshen the flavour.
Size: Deliciosos
Length 15.9cm. Ring gauge 33.
Strength: Light-bodied
Drink match: water, milk, tea - anything that doesn't overwhelm it.
From a box dated March 2009.

Arturo Fuente - Hemingway Short Story (Gran Reserva)

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Batch for June-July and Heretic Epidemic

... is now available chez Greg.

Included are a few favourites and a couple of brand new ones.

• Cohiba Club (2): coffee-break favourite
• Por Larranaga Montecarlos: new cigar for a longer coffee-break (post forthcoming)
• San Cristobal del Habano El Principe: the last of this box which has aged very well in just a year. They started out harsh last August and are now enjoyable with that cuban twang.
  
• Diplomaticos no.4 (as per Joel's request)
• Montecristo no.4 (see earlier video review): from a new box dated 2009
• Vegas Robaina Clasicos (see next post)
  

Also it is with great sadness that we farewell two Cigar Heretics who are temporarily departing these shores: Jon who is off to the UK and Andrew who is off to Tanna. Go forth and prosper! Take with you the gnosis of the Sacred Leaf as you spread the Heretical Ways far and wide! We will enjoy blowing smoke rings together when you return.

At the same time, we welcome a Wellingtonian (finally!) named Scott who will keep me company, and a Whangarei-an, Michael, who has been initiated into our devious secrets by Sam. Haere mai ki te Ngati Heretiki! Don't hesitate to post questions, cigar reviews etc

In Memoriam Don Alejandro: Vegas Robaina Clasico

There is one special cigar in the June-July batch included as a tribute to the legendary Alejandro Robaina who died last month.

The Robaina family have farmed tobacco continuously since 1845 on their precious vegas (fields) at Cuchillas de Barbacoa situated in the Vuelta Abajo, Cuba's premier tobacco-growing region.

Born in 1919, Alejandro worked on his farm from age 10 until his death this year. He took over the family farm in 1950 and remained an independent grower even after the '59 revolution, when most tobacco farms were grouped into cooperatives. Robaina said himself that he "told Fidel I did not like cooperatives or state farms and that the best way to grow tobacco was through family production." For many years he was one of the unofficial ambassadors of Cuban cigars abroad, and in the 1990s the government recognised his outstanding production (80% of his tobacco leaves were good enough to be used as premium wrappers compared with 30% for most farms) by creating a brand named after his family: Vegas Robaina.



We have the Vegas Robaina Clasico, which, as Greg and myself found out the other night, is a cracker. It's a cigar with perfect balance, sweet and smooth but mingling many interesting flavours and evolving all the way through the smoke (our review posted in comment).

I can only encourage you to take time out and concentrate on smoking this one in one go - it's worth it. And this time you can think about the values of terroir and centuries old family farms that contribute to making delightful and maybe even meaningful produce for us to enjoy - perhaps against the backdrop of increasing industrialisation of production.

1hr-1hr20 smoke.
Size: Cervantes
Length 16.5cm. Ring gauge 42.
Strength: Medium-bodied
Drink match: port, sherry? and maybe even switch to whisky at the end.
Box date unknown.

Trinidad Reyes

Not many more weekends before I consult a wife about where and what one will do with their time off work. I decided on a drive up north to see family. Future wife also decided. We learn decisions together. I was eager to drive the 3 hours of northbound roads saying adiós to that lovely place we call Auckland. We arrive at a not so late time in the evening to talk and laugh and share stories while sipping on green tea. Checking the surf report I'm not so sure about heading out in the morning but I take my chances. The dawn, or alarm wakes me and I scramble together some food, water and a brother to go out on this adventure. Less talking, more music as we set east. I get butterfly's looking at the ever so increasing speed and direction of wind in the trees. But still, can only hope. Those hopes were soon crushed as we met the beach in all it's onshore glory. I start to think about where I would like to be. Not here. We go for a walk then a slow drive home arriving just as the heavens open and heavy rains pour down. I think what better time for a late morning coffee and cigar. Picking up my pace I find the fresh beans to grind which teases my nostrils giving the first satisfaction of the day. While brewing on the stove top the search begins.

Trinidad Reyes. Will you disappoint?

Short but nicely fitting between fingers having a slight silk from the oils in the wrapper, it almost slides away from my grip. Pour coffee. I bring the twisty ended stick to my nose and take in light wood, almost tea leaves. Snip goes the twist and draw in some nice simple fresh flavours. Once lit I draw in a perfect amount of smoke not being too hard or too easy. Perfect. And while not determining anything complex I thoroughly enjoy it's smoothness all the way through to the last third. It did burn uneven but I think this was only to do with the knotty vein in one part sadly near the beginning. Coffee was good. Cigar was good but undecided if they were best friends. Still friends but I'm sure this cigar would be good on it's own. Favourite part was the sweet leafy taste on the lips.


On the Deckchair

Cigar and coffee take a breather
They watch the midwinter rain
Daring to imagine holidays in Tuscany
The Caribbean or some foreign place
If they could afford it
They might share a laugh
With cross legged elephants
And Turkish rugs
There is a sip, a sigh, a snip
A taste of earth in an unlit kiss
Coffee drink the virgin plume of smoke
Cigar's bitter-sweet ash clings to its throat
They take a breather
And watch the world slow down
If only for a moment

Poetry by R.H (aka brother)

Love & Marriage

Celebrate your one year anniversary with an easy-draw licorice tasting dark spice Montecristo. Blow in each others faces and you'll follow each other everywhere.

Diplomaticos no.4

This is an intriguing little mareva with quite a different flavour profile from its cousin the Montecristo No.4. Whereas the latter could be the tip top cookies and cream of the cigar world, the Diplomaticos is more of a chef-designed palate cleansing sorbet: subtle floral nuances of darjeeling played around a leather and cedar core. If you want to take some time out for a half hour or so and concentrate on a cigar, pull this understated petit corona out of the humidor.

And to add to the aura of this cigar, one should say that it will be an ephemeral experience: production of this particular vitola was cancelled this year, so beyond this box we might never get to try it again. It would probably respond well to ageing, but hey - ars longa, vita brevis.


30mn-50mn smoke.
Size: Mareva (aka Petit Corona)
Length 12.9cm. Ring gauge 42.
Strength: Light Medium-bodied
Drink match: Tricky. Try smoking it first and then decide - tea or sherry or [something that doesn't overpower the complex flavour]?
From box dated Mar '09.

Brand: This brand was introduced in 1966 as essentially a second, value line of the Montecristo brand, primarily aimed at the French market. One of the few Havana brands which is exclusively devoted to handmade cigars, the sizes and names essentially mirror the Montecristo nomenclature and for many years, the Diplomaticos line was produced at the old Jose Marti factory, as was most of the Montecristo range.

Cigarros con cafe

Saturday morning and the sun is shining, a gentle sea breeze caresses the kowhai leaves, and distant yachts slice their way effortlessly through shimmering waters on the horizon. Ah yes, time for coffee on the deck... and while I'm at it, why not pull out a cigar?

As a fellow prisoner of our modern age, the spectre of guilt overwhelms me at the thought of such an unproductive pass time. What of domestic duties? Or of preparation for future events - building up peers and relationships - self-improvement through cultivation of skill - turning a buck in a costly world...? Our contemporary curse, the plague that is the pandora's box of Lifestyle Options, assails me. Tick tick tock goes the clock, relentlessly driving the slaves who must account for its atomically-defined nanoseconds. I attempt to still my guilt by pulling out a laptop to mark some annoying essays. The battery fails. Time slows to the pace of the incandescent cylinder pressed between my forefingers. With every draw, the pillar of ash grows. Every once in a while, it falls to the ground. Its rich and creamy emanations soothe the mind. Peace and satisfaction prevail. Self-absorbed man of contemplation, or Doer and Achiever of many things- who is of the undead, and who is of the living? The cat stretches out, oblivious, on a warm paving stone. I am reminded of a book by Proust, A la recherche du temps perdu, of which - irony of ironies - I had only ever speed-read extracts for school. I think this is a fortunate thing. In any case...

Blessed be the cigar that affords us momentary exile from the world of options.

I confess that despite the knowledge that real prestige lies with the after-dinner cigars, the large puros that match refined drinks like whisky and generally provide greater complexity and evolution of flavour, most often the smoking urge comes on me for daytime smokes, generally late morning with coffee. Sometimes I want one before coffee, often after coffee, and every now and again i'll actually have one with coffee - like today. Some kind of biscuit and dark chocolate are also de rigueur for that blend of flavours made in heaven.
[if you must know, my fave biscuit is McVitie digestive with a dark chocolate like Scarborough Sinless; if i have them, i will go for roasted almonds instead of the biscuit; and on the rare occasions when we have any in the house, i might go for a timtam.]

As for the cigars, well you have tasted for yourselves the diminutive Cohiba Club cigarillos - the quick fix option - the Hoyo de Monterrey du Maire in the small range, and larger half-corona vitolas like the Trinidad Reyes, Cohiba Maduro5 Secretos, at a push the San Cristobal El Principe; and on the rare holiday occasions I can stomach a biggy in the day, a Montecristo no4 or even larger, a Hoyo des Dieux. Others that I can't get hold of anymore are the El Rey Del Mundo Demi-Tasse, or Gloria Cubana no4. They all have in common a medium body, more woody or cocoa type flavour, and all have a hint of sweetness. Cigars that have more to do with leather, earth, spice or a fruity twang I exclude as I'm not a coffee-or-chocolate-with-fruit kind of person. I save those ones for alcoholic partners. But that's just me.

What kind of cigarros con cafe experience floats your boat? I'm interested.

Romeo y Julieta Churchill Challenge

Here we have it folks, to celebrate our first decently-sized cigar, you are invited to partake in a Heretics Churchill Challenge.

First, a little history. The vitola of this cigar, officially a Julieta no.2, was renamed in honour of the venerable statesman, who was well known for his love of similar sized cigars. Apparently, gruff old Winston didn’t just like to smoke Romeo y Julietas… he actually used them to intimidate hostile negotiators. Legend has it that Churchill was in the habit of inserting a straightened paper clip into the end of his Romeo y Julieta before a difficult interrogation. This would allow the cigar to burn without dropping any ash, letting his cigar ash burn so long it would distract onlookers. This was so strange and perturbing that it allowed Churchill to gain the upper hand in conversation.

Now, as to our competition - the name of the game is The LONGEST ASH.

Much like Churchill himself, you are called upon to demonstrate your finest British phlegm in the face of a relentless invasion. In this case, your merciless adversary will be the largest cigar you have ever faced, assaulting you with wave upon wave of nicotine-fuelled flavour. The Heretic of unflappable demeanour will not only weather this neverending storm, but produce evidence of his steady-handedness with a photo/video of unperturbed Ash, still hanging on the end of the cigar.

All you have to do is send in this evidence of your Churchill with intact ash [and unlike the man himself, without the aid of such things as paper clips, no8 wire, swedish enlargement kits or other].

MAY THE LONGEST ASH WIN.

The winner's Prize will consist of one long but skinny 2000 vintage La Gloria Cubana no1 cigar - one of my favourites and just as long as a Churchill. (pictured below)

P.s. Extra points/prizes could be awarded for:

• a great Churchill impersonation; and/or
• a legendary photo of you smoking your Churchill;
• a brilliant review of the cigar

Montecristo #4 Spins Me Round

Greg came down to the Capital on Easter Weekend to get away from the humid, overpopulated and drab mess that is Auckland city. And he got to Absolutely Positively experience the breezy sun, luscious beach bodies, and wharf jumping delights of Wellington's riviera. Sea sex and sun converging in a momentary apotheosis of pleasure - yes that's the thrill you get watching me jump off the wharf (as I get blown off to break the ice below).

Anyway here is our garage review of the Montecristo no4 with theme generously provided to us by Classic Hits FM.

Next batch ready!

Fellow fumeurs, the next batch is ready at the tinny house i.e. still Sam's place.
Give me a ring or email me to let me know when you want to collect the cigars.
[Ed.: address info deleted to avoid spam]

They are:

• the trusty Hoyo de Monterrey du Maire
• Trinidad Reyes
• San Cristobal Del Habano El Principe
• Diplomaticos no.4: a petit corona with a difference.
  
• Romeo y Julieta Churchill - yes a classic and a big mama now that you guys are trained up to puff for long periods of time (also a lot more expen$ive so not as many cigars in this batch)
  

Greg

Happy Birthday Grand Heresiarch

X L F.
Son. Brother. Father. Friend. Grand Heresiarch.

I came across an old photo of Dad and Xav digging up the concrete driveway in Curacao Place. Gumboots, pickaxes, sweaty brows. The picture stirred clear memories of the aura that surrounded Greg throughout our upbringing- paint stained jeans, three-day-old singlets, the smell of cigar, half forgotten apples, barely nibbled biscuits in the fridge. These were all traces of the presence of Greg.
As Hannah commented today: "I often enjoy the smell of cigar more than its taste". This is a sentiment that I felt growing up. Cigars- a comforting smell. The nearby presence of the patriarch (& half biscuits bound to be found somewhere... of the deadly sins- Xav was sloth, I was greed).

At the tender age of 12 I remember hiding an old cigar butt and trying to light it later on. It tasted like poos. I also found a condom packet then, embarrassed by its phallic suggestiveness, tried to burn it. It doesn't work. It's a mess.

I can only imagine that Xav lived similar experiences, and yet, and yet, he was the one to pick up the cigar legacy. He was the one who pioneered Aotearoa Heretics into the unknown world of refined cigar puffing. He crossed boundaries of race and creed. He laughed at embargoes and the West's fear of communism. He reached out to the small tobacco farmers in Cuba, Nicaragua, Ethiopia.

He took a small seed, planted by our father in our hearts, and made it grow.

Xavier, we salute you.

Cohiba Maduro 5

I haven't been keeping my travel humidor humid enough so it may have impacted on the taste of this cigar. Didn't seem too dry though. Nice experience.

Tasting Batch IV

In case you haven't got 'em, the next batch is ready at Sam's hideout.

The cigars are (in order of size):

• Cohiba - Clubs (cigarillos)
• Partagas - Princess
• La Flor de Cano - Selectos
• Partagas - Serie D no4
• Saint Luis Rey - Serie A

(Joel & Zach get Arturo Fuentes instead of Serie D no4s)

I love these Cohiba Clubs cigarillos, just what the doctor ordered to go with coffee or whenever, they get you addicted to nice flavour in a short fix (made from cuttings of premium Cohiba cigars so top quality tobacco). The Princess you have tried before. The Selectos are actually non-premium cigars, made for cuban market rather than export - cheaper, looser construction etc - but as you will find nice enjoyable flavour; perhaps 'cos they are aged (i don't know how much but i'm guessing by flavour a good few years).

The Partagas Serie D no 4 is one of the top selling cubans out there, typical Partagas flavours in a heavy-medium body Robusto - great cigar (see if you recognise the affinity with smaller Princesses from same brand). Finally, the Saint Luis Rey Serie A is a Corona Gorda (one of my favourite vitolas ie sizes) from a smaller production brand known for its woody-sweet smooth flavours.

Enjoy smoking these babies - put some reviews up or even short comments so I know what you think.

F tests appearance, aroma, fit... and then just gets silly

Bolivar Belicoso Fino

You've all been talking about it ["macho grande" etc] so here it is...

"The most repeated word is strong, as this one is one of the strongest among Bolivar cigars. The main characteristics could be its smoothness and full body, plenty of smoke, thick, pasty and coats your mouth so you can taste it for hours after!"

Yep, you betcha, this Revolutionary's torp has lots of power and plenty of leather 'n spice to back it up - like most of the Bolivar lineup. Great match for a whisky, could even follow a vindaloo with garlic naan (i'm not actually recommending that). This is up there with the strongest you'll get in terms of habanos, but still far from the devastation of some of the nicaraguan powerhouses. We got some young ones, only a year old, which might have had a few more discernable flavours somewhere down the road. Maybe.


1hr-1hr30 smoke.
Size: Campana (roughly known as Belicoso size)
Length 14cm. Ring gauge 52.
Strength: Full-bodied
Drink match: Al Swearengen.
From box dated Feb '08.

Brand: Introduced in 1901, the powerful flavour of the Bolivar range is almost as widely know as it's namesake, Simon Bolivar "El Libertador"(1783-1830), the celebrated Venezuelan warrior who liberated all or part of what is today Venezuela, Columbia, Peru and Bolivia.

This guy had a fascinating life, worth reading up about. His influence still lingers e.g. as the inspiration for Hugo Chavez's Revolucion Bolivariana in Venezuela.

Cigar Heretics Poker

Brief reviews of Bolivar, San Cristobal, Cohiba and Hoyo- Epicure Especial.
PS- The Bolivar made Joel and I a bit nauseous. Even though it's not strong in a harsh-smoke sense (the San Cristobal was more this type of 'strong') its presence is overwhelming; its earthy, farming taste layers your mouth for hours and its raw draw numbs your brain. A challenge. Veni, Vidi, Vici (whatever the plural is in Latin).
The Cohiba felt like a sweet child after the 'Macho Grande' as Andrew called it [special mention to Andrew who dictated his tasting notes subliminally to the camera... Words are wasted when you're deeling with an exquisite mouthful of Cuban tobacco].
We also shared a Montecristo, which didn't make it to the video. I lost my notes for that one. Maybe one of the boys can fill us in.
Very enjoyable game of Poker- won by Zach- who successfully played the 'I'm new to this, what should I do? Please advise me. Hmm? What? Oh I won again!' card and came away laughing! I think milder drinks would have been more enjoyable than whisky to go with the cigars. Next time Port, coffees and teas will have to be on the menu.

Ageing and the humble cigar

Age tends to mellow flavours slightly as well as give added complexity to the taste as the various oils and aromas in the blend of leaves mix over time - ie the 1998 "Hoyo des Dieux" you just smoked probably has more discernable flavours (e.g. plum) than if you had smoked it in 1999.

Like wine however, more age does not necessarily mean a better cigar - cigars need to have a decent body to start out with or their flavour will die out too quickly. Generally speaking, larger cigars are better candidates for ageing as they have a wider variety of different leaves (volado, seco, ligero) rolled into them, so there is more potential for the exchange of oils between these to "marry" and produce more complex flavours.

Many cigars are made to be smoked straight out of the box, but most aficionados of the cuban leaf agree that a year or 2 can do wonders (In recent times, Habanos S.A. has upped its quality control and ages the leaves for a decent amount of time before sending them off to the rolling factories - so it's no longer always necessary to age for a year before smoking). Going beyond 5-6 years of ageing is a gamble for most cigars, as their flavours can fade quite quickly after that - but it all depends on the cigar.

Hard out connaisseurs will check each box of cigars and only age those which have oily, aroma-full, leaves; they might also smoke one every 6 months to check how things are progressing (hence they tend to buy 50-cigar cabinets rather than boxes of 10 or 25!). Many agree that most cigars "peak" between 3-6 years of age, but there are also those who prefer the strong flavours straight out of the box. As usual, theories and rumours abound, but a lot of it is down to individual experimentation and preference.

And if you don't have a stable humidity environment for your cigars (ie a humidor), ageing probably won't do them any good - they are most likely to dry out and lose their tasty oils... Cigars are like women - always beautiful, often fragile, but troublesome and even downright frustrating some days, and agreeable and understandable on others. Generally with no apparent reason for either state of affairs (well to us men at least). These challenges, however, are part of what makes them unique, attractive, and downright interesting - hehe.

Hoyo de Monterrey des Dieux - a portal to your senses

Hoyo de Monterrey - Le Hoyo des Dieux
Reviewed by Greg & Sam 15 Jan 2010

Wonderful cigar:
tastes include plum and wood; pleasant draw; well-packed; nice with wine.

Great quote from Sam:
'instead of invading your mouth with smokiness, it uses the mouth as a portal into your senses'

[Ed. note - These particular cigars were rolled in 1998, so the most aged cigar you will taste this year]

Quote of the Month

"When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name."

Charles H. Spurgeon