Cigar Hero: Jack Nicholson

watch the first 2:30mn of this vid.



In this movie, our navy man Jack manages to provoke a fight with some random army hacks just so his young protege gets to punch someone. And because he likes fighting. He dishes out a great insult [listen carefully to the "all i'd have to do is take my hat off" quip], trips and punches and kicks a couple, scrambles up and runs away, all the while chugging on his cigar.

that's talented puffing for ya right there.

So punk...I just smoked a Vegueros Seoanes

Batch for October-November

Greg was here at the weekend and Michael's parcel is in the mail... yes, the next batch is here to play.

This one has a few more new brands - we've almost covered them all now! - and more new cigars.

They are:

• trusty old Hoyo de Monterrey - Le Hoyo du Maire (smallest)
• Vegueros Seoanes: Clint's favourite
• Quai d'Orsai Panetelas: this brand was created for the french market - mild and smooth. The cubans obviously think that french men lack cojones.
• Sancho Panza Bachilleres: brand created for the spanish market, named after the character in Don Quijote. Unusually salty flavour. This particular cigar was discontinued a few years ago, so these are well aged.
• Fonseca KDT Cadetes: all cigars in this brand are wrapped in rice paper. Remove before Smoking!! Nice mild sweet flavour - good with coffee. Hopefully the draw isn't too tight on your ones.
  
• Hoyo de Monterrey - Epicure No.1: the biggest one. Has a reputation for creamy sweet flavour when on form.

Enjoy. And post notes of your impressions after smoking!

Inglourious...tiny little Basterds

For the last two days I have opened my humidor about three times to see three times, little white cigar farkers (about two) crawling on the outside of my Ramon Allones. Almost the size of a speck of dust. First thing researched on the net came up with a bug called a tobacco beetle which is pretty much the soul reaper of cigars sucking every bit of life from them.

This not being my circumstance as the little critters I saw were far from the league of these guys pictured didn't stop me from being a little anxious to why something white and crawly was on my cigar.

So click of the mouse and more research found they are wood mites or other names similar. Here's what some guru of bugs and cigars said.
"Wood/tobacco mites are indeed very harmless and while they have been known to feed on the vegetable glue used to adhere cigar bands, these mites actually prefer water so you may find them crawling over your humidification device or feeding on any other water sources inside your humidor (this is why it's no longer advised that people keep a dish of distilled water inside their humidor as it will cause these mites to thrive"

So although I am confident they are not the notorious tobacco beetle I've learnt you've got to keep the humidity below 75% to lessen the risk of anything hatching. Mine stays at around 74%. Nice if it was less .

And last of all, here's warning picture to what the infamous tobacco beetle is capable of. Found on X-Files

Ze Provencale Experience

at my sister Katy's farm in the south of france. Enjoy...

p.s. the cigar that was not reviewed in this film was the Bolivar Petit Corona. The other two cigars that were not reviewed in this film was some kind of cohiba that sam got off someone sometime and a vegas robaina that i got somewhere ages ago.

Vegueros Seoane

Vegueros - Freudians, check out that logo and pretend not to see what it really is.

Wrapper leaf has a nice tanned leather hue and a rash of bumplets which show up on the burnt ash - interesting. This one draws just right and produces a decent amount of smoke.

Starts out green, bitter and ashy, with a hint of raw meatiness that speaks to you like a Clint Eastwood scowl. "WTF do you want?" it said in a grouchy voice. If you've got the balls to pursue with this little grunter, go ahead, make its day. You know you'll lose out in the end.

Perseverance is "rewarded" with a slight softening in flavour. The acid grassiness starts to fade as the recalcitrant bastard realises you're not going to give in - yet. Time for a refined whisky like Teachers, Grants, Sheep Dip or Genesis Pour-On for Cattle (Don't drink in moderation).

The Vegueros hears me dissing it, and goes out just to spite me. Do I want to relight? No. But I do so anyways, just to show that two can play at this game. It cunningly counter-attacks by defecating its ash onto my keyboard. Down to the offending band now, which I remove, throw roughly to the floor, and spit on. Two all, but it clearly has the upper-hand as we head toward the finish line.

Now for the Grand Finale. Fark this is terrible. More of the same but with renewed intensity - or wait on - is that a subtle hint of quality cement dust joining in to coat my astounded palate? The cigar speaks through its minions, as a 10 year old schoolboy zooms past on his scooter, and farewells his mate with a loud "See ya, Bitch". It goes out one last time. Yeah. See you in Hell.

The Verdict: This is a brilliant cigar for your break as a construction site labourer in wintertime. Before you were keeping your mouth shut and scowling just to fit in, your slitty eyes and screwed up nose speaking volumes about endurance in trying circumstances and the hardness of your steelcappedboot-resistant testicles. Now you actually have something to be pissed off about. I've never enjoyed beer with cigars before, but I'd happily see off a few Ranfurly Draughts or DB Double Browns with this ugly mongrel. Despite the label, there is nothing feminine about it.

Peter Pan take me to Neverland

This is my pan flute of cigars left before I get back to NZ [apart from the little Hoyos]. I'll make sure I actually review these as the last few I had were exquisite- Bolivar, La Gloria Cubana, and a couple of others (X- what were the ones I had with you?). Seeing as dinner happens so late here I got into the habit of having a cigar before the meal and with some kind of aperitif: Vermouth, Port, Wine. The only problem with this is that smoking on my own on an empty stomach I would get a bit dizzy near the end and with the Bolivar I felt pretty nauseous afterwards! Anyways, will keep you posted. By the way, will the U.S give me any hassles for bringing my cigars into their nation?

Batch for August - September ... Obscure Brands

... is available chez Greg. In fact, it has been there since the end of July but I went overseas (smoking vids with Sam to follow) and just realised that i forgot to post about it.

There are a few new brands of cigars included, relatively low production and hence lesser known Check out this habanos page and notice where these new ones Cuaba, Vegueros, and Ramon Allones are on the pyramid - in the local distribution section down the bottom. The large production global distribution brands, Cohiba, Romeo y Julieta, Montecristo, Partagas et al., are the only ones you'll find in duty free around the world and the only ones you'll find in every cigar outlet. The good thing about smaller brands is lower production and so sometimes (but not necessarily!!), better construction. Cuaba is one exception because of how much harder it is to roll perfecto-shapes (all cuabas are perfectos - tapered at both ends).

From memory, here's what was included:

• Cohiba Club: coffee-break favourite
• Hoyo de Monterrey -Le Hoyo du Maire: ditto
• Vegueros - Seoanes: a very obscure brand with a "green" taste. The cigars we got are also very old and in a cheap small format. So don't expect too much from this one.
  
• Cuaba - Divinos: a small perfecto shaped cigar from an unusual cuban brand. Look out for a peanut-butter flavour.
• Bolivar -Petit Corona: Some of you have already tried Bolivar and know that this marca is not to be taken lightly. This is an even bigger explosion of spicy flavour than the last one. Like the RASS below, goes great with whisky.
  
• Ramon Allones - Specially Selected: Another new brand for you to try. I've tried one before sending them out and it was a great cigar. Smooth but lots of flavour. Big cigar.

... enjoy. And when you smoke one, write a little comment (or a big review) on the site so we know what you thought about it ;-)

Quote of the Day

The great pianist Arthur Rubinstein said:

"You have to be even more careful with your cigar than with your wife. You can always make up with a woman, but if you're not careful your cigar will go out completely."

Hoyo de Monterrey du Maire

Had one of the best wake up weekends of the year. Wild and windy during the night. Storming up something epic. Got out of bed slow. Massive cooked breakfast/lunch. After satisfying the stomach, we got the Bialetti brewing some fresh coffee. Wanting a cigar that wouldn't take the rest of the day to smoke I picked this one from the Humidor. At our home we've got lots of decking (being the top of the rest of the house) but no shelter from the rain. Obviously having a smoke free indoors house the dilemma is, how do you smoke a cigar outside without getting wet. We got these cool sliding windows which I opened to get maximum venting going on. I light up and find the smoke wants to... Anyway, trying to describe the logistics is all too hard. Discovering tastes weren't though. First few puffs not so great. Quite, smoky? Developing into some wood/leather aromas mellowing into a creamy chocolaty sweet cigar. Half way through I got this dominant chilli spice residue on my lips. Was a really nice 25 minutes. Only con I found with this one and the same Hoyo I had a week ago was the wrapper seems a little fragile.

What do yous think? Am I getting somewhere with discerning the tastes?

San Cristobal De La Habana - El Principe

Finally my semi flu had gone just in time for a weekend cigar. Had this one in the morning after waking up and seeing the epic sun rise knowing it would be a warm winters day. Made a coffee and got a book ready to enjoy all three. I won't bore with long ideas about this cigar but thought easy draw, smooth velvety tastes and picking up notes of walnut in the beginning and cocoa near its end. It didn't keep a long ash but did burn consistently not going out once. ( 2-5min breaks) Total time of morning bliss was around 25minutes along with 2 long blacks, 1 chapter of Isaiah and ubber amounts of sun made this a perfect experience. Coffee compliment? Definitely

Introducing Scott and the Por Larranaga Montecarlo

Video review introducing this cigar and new heretic Scott.
Keen to hear your thoughts about the Montecarlo - comment below.



30-45mn smoke.
Smoke it slowly it is a thin cigar - puffing too quick will overheat it and harshen the flavour.
Size: Deliciosos
Length 15.9cm. Ring gauge 33.
Strength: Light-bodied
Drink match: water, milk, tea - anything that doesn't overwhelm it.
From a box dated March 2009.

Arturo Fuente - Hemingway Short Story (Gran Reserva)

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Batch for June-July and Heretic Epidemic

... is now available chez Greg.

Included are a few favourites and a couple of brand new ones.

• Cohiba Club (2): coffee-break favourite
• Por Larranaga Montecarlos: new cigar for a longer coffee-break (post forthcoming)
• San Cristobal del Habano El Principe: the last of this box which has aged very well in just a year. They started out harsh last August and are now enjoyable with that cuban twang.
  
• Diplomaticos no.4 (as per Joel's request)
• Montecristo no.4 (see earlier video review): from a new box dated 2009
• Vegas Robaina Clasicos (see next post)
  

Also it is with great sadness that we farewell two Cigar Heretics who are temporarily departing these shores: Jon who is off to the UK and Andrew who is off to Tanna. Go forth and prosper! Take with you the gnosis of the Sacred Leaf as you spread the Heretical Ways far and wide! We will enjoy blowing smoke rings together when you return.

At the same time, we welcome a Wellingtonian (finally!) named Scott who will keep me company, and a Whangarei-an, Michael, who has been initiated into our devious secrets by Sam. Haere mai ki te Ngati Heretiki! Don't hesitate to post questions, cigar reviews etc

In Memoriam Don Alejandro: Vegas Robaina Clasico

There is one special cigar in the June-July batch included as a tribute to the legendary Alejandro Robaina who died last month.

The Robaina family have farmed tobacco continuously since 1845 on their precious vegas (fields) at Cuchillas de Barbacoa situated in the Vuelta Abajo, Cuba's premier tobacco-growing region.

Born in 1919, Alejandro worked on his farm from age 10 until his death this year. He took over the family farm in 1950 and remained an independent grower even after the '59 revolution, when most tobacco farms were grouped into cooperatives. Robaina said himself that he "told Fidel I did not like cooperatives or state farms and that the best way to grow tobacco was through family production." For many years he was one of the unofficial ambassadors of Cuban cigars abroad, and in the 1990s the government recognised his outstanding production (80% of his tobacco leaves were good enough to be used as premium wrappers compared with 30% for most farms) by creating a brand named after his family: Vegas Robaina.



We have the Vegas Robaina Clasico, which, as Greg and myself found out the other night, is a cracker. It's a cigar with perfect balance, sweet and smooth but mingling many interesting flavours and evolving all the way through the smoke (our review posted in comment).

I can only encourage you to take time out and concentrate on smoking this one in one go - it's worth it. And this time you can think about the values of terroir and centuries old family farms that contribute to making delightful and maybe even meaningful produce for us to enjoy - perhaps against the backdrop of increasing industrialisation of production.

1hr-1hr20 smoke.
Size: Cervantes
Length 16.5cm. Ring gauge 42.
Strength: Medium-bodied
Drink match: port, sherry? and maybe even switch to whisky at the end.
Box date unknown.